Man for some reason I just can't get "started" in 06' I feel like there
was soooo much I had to get done at the end of last year, that now I
feel lazy. I need a really good project or something to just motivate me
to get up and go. I had an audition yesterday and it felt good to be in the
mix again. I think a couple more auditions and I'll be back to my regular
self. It doesn't matter if I book them or not (although my agent might
feel differently) but I just need the feel of going to an audition and
"competing for a role". I used to dread going to auditions when I first
started acting, and now I love it. There's something about being in that
room with everyone and the nervous energy, and the passion that everyone
in that room wants the SAME ROLE that draws me in.
I got to see my episode of THE SHIELD that aired last Tuesday. It was
very nerve racking to sit with friends and watch it. I am a HORRIBLE,
HORRIBLE critic to myself and all I could do was wince and hide my face
when I appeared on camera. Back home however, in the safety of my
apt...I was able to watch the episode and appreciate that I did some good
work and leave it at that (at least that what my friend Benny tells me I
need to do) It's funny cuz when I'm talking to Benny he says to me "what
did you LIKE about it?" and I would start to say what I DIDN'T LIKE
and he would ask me "NO, WHAT DID YOU LIKE ABOUT IT?" and I
would think about it and tell him to which he would say "good, that's good
you liked that" and leave it at that. Because it's not about knocking
yourself down and saying all the things that you did horribly... Because if
I was just watching the show and didn't know that person acting I would
leave it alone as a good performance. It's those eyes that I need when
I'm watching something I did. sooooooo did anyone watch THE
BACHELOR? Crazy, crazy woman on that show...okay I go now
-- Carla
